Busy as a bee


Another week has flown by like the hummingbirds that seem to have bypassed this part of Colorado this year. For some reason, they have either been delayed in coming or fell victim to some primitive tribe hunting them for a feast of “wings” at their next human sacrifice party.

It's been a whirlwind here at the mountain Ponderosa with lots of catching up with friends, Father’s Day, grabbing some firewood and church.

And that last part may give some of you hope that Ol’ Dutch just may find some sort of redemption in his old age since he has been hanging out with the right sort of people recently.

Arriving here we had so many things to do and Ol’ Dutch found himself an unwilling participant in many of them. But before you go so far as to say it's good for me, let me do a little explaining.

Miss Trixie, bless her heart, is the epitome of efficiency and so every time we make a sojourn into the Valley she tries to pack as many stops as she can into the day.

This saves on gas and time but makes for a long day when Ol’ Dutch just needs some fishing lures, ammo or other necessities. I have learned to just sit in the car and patiently wait for her to show back up but this past week I may have hit my limit on her basement bargain hunting.

After about our 20th stop — well maybe 4th but you get my drift — Ol’ Dutch decided that enough is enough and saving ten cents on a roll of paper towels was just not worth the pain of the wait.

So, I got to watching the women leaving the store and suddenly got the brilliant idea that maybe I would just pick up the next one that came out as the results would probably be about the same in the long run anyway. At least the shopping pain would end which is all men generally want anyway.

But as luck would have it, the next one that did exit the store looked to be of a different religious persuasion than I am and I am not sure Ol’ Dutch can make the switch at what Miss Trixie calls, “such an advanced age.”

The good part about waiting now for your significant other to exit the store is at least we have the world at our fingertips in the form of a cell phone.

Why, with that you can peruse the shelves of every major sporting goods store, look at new trucks on lots across America and complain about your day via text with your friends all from the comfort of your car.

But what Ol’ Dutch has found out of late is every time you click those keys someone, somewhere is tracking that and soon your phone will become a morass of advertising about anything you may have looked at.

Offers to sell me new trucks that the dealers do not even have, hunting supplies that are not even on the shelf and pictures of scantily clad women in new bass boats are now arriving every few minutes and about to drive Ol’ Dutch mad as a hatter.

It's bad enough that I do want some of the items that are being jammed down my throat via advertising but it's just plain cruel to send me those that are not even in stock. What kind of cruelty is that?

And if there is one thing Ol’ Dutch does know, the last thing a man needs in that new bass boat is a bikini-clad woman complaining about the heat, lack of wine, lack of shade and stinky fish smell to ruin the day. I mean, Ol’ Dutch can’t help how he smells after all.

So, I guess I will just hang onto Miss Trixie and suffer through the parking lot waits as it’s better to know the poison you are used to than to try and switch brands. And we are celebrating five of the happiest years of our lives so there is that too and not bad out of nine years being together.

Some of you have asked if Miss Trixie is real. She is and you can meet her and me Monday, June 28 at the Chapel of the South Fork for a fun evening of music, jokes and laughs. Bring an instrument if you want to play along.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is Kevin@TroutRepublic.com. Additional news can be found atwww.troutrepublic.com.