The right answer


I know it will come as no surprise to my male readers out there just how important it is to have what is known as the “right answer” when dealing with partners of the female persuasion.

I mentioned some weeks ago that Miss Trixie and I are celebrating seven great years together. She just rolled her eyes at that statement – a medical condition I am trying to get fixed — and reminded me it is ten. But like I said, seven great years of joint habitation together.

And in that time Ol’ Dutch has learned a thing or two mainly due to the fact that Miss Trixie knows “everything.”

And to give credit where credit is due, she has a plethora of knowledge to draw from and I have learned that I really do not have to remember much if I just tell her.

But there are other conversations that come up daily that I am getting more skilled at also when dealing with Her Highness. For instance, yesterday we were slated to have a cookout with Uncle Si and his wife Miss Candy and Ol’ Dutch was slated to be the cook.

For those of you unaccustomed to the English language, that means I had to grill the ribs.

Now Ol’ Dutch has cooked enough pork ribs to have been the Prodigal son, but to Miss Trixie, this gave us an opportunity to “communicate.”

And here is how that went. She asked me simply if I was going to put the BBQ sauce on first or after the ribs cooked a little while. Now for most of you this may seem like a straightforward question but Ol’ Dutch has been in more rodeos like this than can be counted so I gave the safe answer of “I don't care," hoping she would tell me her preference.

But for you unattached bachelors out there, that is not how this works. Because she didn't want me to answer but wanted to have a conversation about it before coming to her choice.

So back and forth we went with Miss Trixie stating the pros and cons of putting the sauce on first or later and at the presentation of each choice, Ol’ Dutch wisely answered, “I don't care.”

Finally, she got to the point and told me that the last time I cooked ribs, I put the BBQ sauce on later in the cooking process and they were especially yummy. And at that point I saw the exit lane coming up like a welcome relief on a busy highway and Ol’ Dutch took it.

Knowing that I had been led to where she wanted me to go, finally, I said that is how I would do it. This resulted in her leaving me alone to look for a new rifle online for my birthday, which is exactly what I had been doing before “we” decided to “have a talk.”

I have to say that getting older does have some downsides, but it also has certain perks if a man will only pay attention and learn from past mistakes. For in failing thousands of times to provide what we believe is the right answer, we finally learn what to say and just when to say it.

Early on, Ol’ Dutch made the mistake of actually stating my preference when asked by a partner of what I wanted to eat, what to do, where to go or color to paint the living room.

After about 20 years of providing what I found out was the “wrong answer," I then tried another approach when under interrogation by the Gestapo.

I would try and think about what I was supposed to say and then repeat that to my Beloved. She would then say, "you are just saying that to shut me up.”

Well yea! And then the fight began.

After 40-plus years it has finally come to me that what women want is for us to “communicate.” That means listen.

So, Ol’ Dutch finally was able to decipher how Miss Trixie wanted her ribs without a fight about it one way or the other as I could care less how they are cooked as long as I can get the meat off the bones and into my mouth in a timely fashion.

That about ended our week, and another Monday has rolled around, and I cannot wait to meet all the people coming to raft with Mountain Man Rafting/Narrow Ridge Outdoors in South Fork. Here's to high water and fun times ahead.


Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV, or hike daily. His email is Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.