First of all, let's stop the rumors before they get started. No, me and Miss Trixie are not married. And no, I am not married to someone else. And it’s not Trixie with the broken coccyx (pronounced cock-seek) so you all can rest easy and she can sit without pain. If you hang with me on here, though, Ol’ Dutch will spin you a yarn worthy of even the most sour puss amongst you.
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First of all, let's stop the rumors before they get started. No, me and Miss Trixie are not married. And no, I am not married to someone else. And it’s not Trixie with the broken coccyx (pronounced cock-seek) so you all can rest easy and she can sit without pain. If you hang with me on here, though, Ol’ Dutch will spin you a yarn worthy of even the most sour puss amongst you.
Most of you know that Ol’ Dutch has a ranch down in the Great State of Texas and so there is always something to do around there to keep busy. I had an old power pole that was right in the view from the toilet in the master bath so it had to go. I got out the trusty yellow backhoe – my very own Big Iron -- and heaved that telephone right out like pulling a noodle from a kid's nose.
Once on the ground Ol’ Dutch decided to sell the darned thing and make a little cashola to help with the bills. So I listed it on Facebook Marketplace and soon had buyers frothing at the bit to buy that heavy pole. Whenever I sell something on Facebook, I always let the first person who responds have the first chance at the item. And this was no different and soon I had Buyer #1 all lined up to come and get the power pole.
Now most of you know that Ol’ Dutch is about as deaf as said pole so we communicated via text to start with. But the old guy wanted to talk on the phone so I relented and answered his ring.
And it's here that the story begins.
I am not sure if he was just lonely, crazy, wordy or a combination of all three but once I was on the phone he launched into his life story including his wife dying, getting remarried, and even better yet, his new and current wife breaking her tailbone, in two places. Now I don't know about you but I had a hard time putting together all those stories and especially talking about his wife’s butt and what that had to do with a power pole but he felt a need to unload. And unload he did.
So Ol’ Dutch finally made arrangements for him to come get the power pole but every day he found a new excuse why he could not come. Something about getting lights on his trailer one day to having to get new tires the next. Normally I would just move on to the next guy but he needed this badly for his daughter and since his wife was literally a sore ass, I kept it for him.
Once he got me on the phone the first time he suddenly felt the need to call me daily and give me his latest excuse as to why he could not come over but the conversations always started the same with the story of his wife’s sore back end.
Finally the day came when he had lights, the wife could sit in the truck and ride shotgun, and the trailer had new tires so here he came. I told Miss Trixie to come with me to load the pole as she did not want to miss out on this. And true to form, he no more than gotten out of the truck than we heard the broken tailbone story. I got him loaded and took off as fast as I could but you know Trixie. She stayed to visit and bless her heart she got the story a time or two more before he left.
And now you may ask whatever happened to the old guy and the pole. Well I will just tell you. He texted me later that evening telling me he got the pole home and was thankful for waiting on his delays because yes, you guessed it. His wife has a broken coccyx.
Kevin Kirkpatrick spends his days fishing, hunting, ATVing, hiking or making people laugh. His email is Kevin@TroutRepublic.com. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.